Of course you have. Just like the moon, we all have a dark side, or a “shadow” side.
What is our shadow side and how it can help us?
The shadow is an important part of our psyche. It represents the darker side of our personality… everything we are unable or unwilling to see in ourselves. Rage, jealousy, envy, selfishness, greed, lust, shameful experiences, irrational wishes, and other “inappropriate” traits and qualities that we find difficult to accept.
We often ignore or “repress” these difficult aspects, or shadows, of our personality. We hide them, not just from others, but from ourselves too.
What happens when we repress our shadows?
They don’t simply disappear. Whether we acknowledge it or not, they are still there, right behind us, hidden from view. The more we try and ignore our shadows, the stronger they become. And they manifest themselves in many different, often unhealthy ways.
Do you find yourself…
- Displaying intense emotional reactions and outbursts
- Feeling anxious or depressed without knowing why
- Experiencing constant self-doubt and low self-esteem
- Becoming defensive and harshly judging others
- Behaving in ego-driven and arrogant ways
- Frequently playing the victim
- Avoiding certain situations, people, or behaviours
- Engaging in addictive or destructive behaviours
- Repeating dysfunctional or toxic relationship patterns
- Putting on a “mask” in order to be accepted by others
If any of these resonate with you, consider shadow work. Shadow work is a brilliant way to connect with the hidden parts of your psyche.
But what is shadow work?
Shadow work is a method originating from an influential Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung. According to Jung, we need to explore the darker aspects of our psyche. When we shed light on our shadows, we begin to understand ourselves better. Shadow work is the process of bringing these hidden aspects of ourselves into conscious awareness.
There’s no single or “correct” way to do shadow work. There are many great books, articles, and videos available to learn more about this form of self-development. Journaling, meditation, creative activities, personal therapy, or group work are just a few ways to explore our shadow side.
Yet another way to engage in shadow work is through dreams.
By paying attention to our dreams, we can learn so much about ourselves.
As a therapist, I have a shadow side too. And it’s important for me to continuously work on my own shadows so I can help others effectively. If I’m not willing to confront my own shadows, it's difficult to be comfortable when people share their darkest moments.
For me, dream work provides a wonderful way to work with my shadows. My dreams provide significant insights into my subconscious and often reflect my shadow self.
You can do shadow work on your own, but it may be beneficial to engage in shadow work with a trained therapist. Shadow work can be very confronting, uncomfortable and energy draining. At the same time, it can lead to greater self-knowledge, personal growth, and emotional healing. If you have underlying mental health issues or unexplored traumatic and painful experiences in the past, working with a skilled professional is crucial. A trained therapist can provide a safe place to explore, guide, recognise and embrace your shadow.
How to get started with shadow work?
One of the best ways to identify your shadow is to look at others. Pay attention to the traits that annoy you in others. “He is so greedy, I hate greedy people” or “I can’t believe how judgemental she is”. These may be traits you dislike in yourself but find it difficult to acknowledge. This is called “projection”. You project your uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, and behaviours onto others without realising it. You blame others for things that you are doing yourself. Whatever qualities we deny in ourselves, we unconsciously project them onto others.
Observe, but don’t judge, your strong emotional reactions to people and situations. Be patient and gentle with yourself. Practice self-compassion and kindness.
Don’t turn away from your shadow. It’s always there. Just like the “yin-yang” symbol, there are two sides to everything in life. Light and dark. Day and night. Positive and negative. Young and old. When you take a little time to work on incorporating shadow work into your daily life, great things can start to happen.
So, get to know your shadow side and bring it into conscious awareness. It’s worth the effort!!!
Eila Mikkonen
Counsellor, Clinical Supervisor, Coach & Mental Fitness Facilitator