Empathy is the ability to be aware of the feelings and emotions of others. It helps us to have compassion and see things from their perspectives. We all experience varying degrees of empathy. But an empath takes empathy to a significantly deeper level.
“Empath” and “empathy” sound very similar, but there is a difference.
So, what does it mean to be an empath?
As a counsellor – and an empath – I absorb energy from my environment. I intuitively sense what people around me are feeling. I pick up others’ moods and thoughts and sense what someone is trying to express. Often, I start to feel those emotions myself. Joy, stress, sadness, fear… I’m like a sponge for all those energies and emotions that aren’t mine. I don’t even have to be in the same room with others. Online interactions and video chats can leave me feeling emotionally drained.
I pick up subtle cues of deception and intuitively “know” when someone is not being honest. I see through a false facade and sense people’s motives, sometimes without even interacting with them directly. I have a strong internal lie detector.
I’m highly sensitive to the energy of my surroundings, including objects, places and buildings. Walking into a room can completely change how I feel. I sense if something negative or unpleasant has occurred in the environment.
Being an empath is an incredible gift that allows me to experience deeper connections with others and the world around me. I’m able to see situations from many different perspectives. I have channeled and used this powerful asset through meaningful and fulfilling work.
Being highly tuned to the emotions of others is an asset indeed, but it took me a long time to understand how to use my sensitivity to help others without depleting my own energy. Now, I implement healthy strategies to release feelings and emotions that aren’t mine.
Here's how I thrive and cultivate resilience as an empath:
Quiet –
I incorporate peaceful and quiet moments into my day. Loud music, noise and excessive talking can be overwhelming. I NEED my downtime to balance and regroup.
Healthy limits and boundaries –
I’m very accommodating of others and their needs. But to thrive as an empath, I know the importance of establishing physical, emotional and energetic boundaries to ensure my own wellbeing. I don't feel guilty about prioritising my own needs.
Movement –
Exercise is essential to release tension and keep energy moving through my body. Walking in nature, stretching and exercise help me to release mental and physical tension as well as the emotional burdens of others. Movement is medicine for my body, mind and soul.
Grounding –
I ground myself. Being in nature, walking barefoot in sand or grass helps me to center myself and remove the energy of others.
Visualisation –
I visualise a “protective” bubble around me to block out negativity. Since everything is made up of energy, including our physical bodies, we are easily affected by the mental and emotional energy of others.
Creativity –
Creative expression is a huge part of my life. I “get out of my head” and express my thoughts, ideas and feelings through writing, drawing, craft, music… and heaps more!
Affirmations –
I use affirmations daily to uplift, inspire and motivate. By repeating powerful affirmations, I “reprogram” my brain and eliminate self-sabotaging thoughts.
I let things go –
I don’t hold onto past hurts or bitterness. I don’t resent or hate people who have done me wrong. Holding on to something that no longer serves me is not helpful. I let go and move forward.
Self-awareness –
I reflect on my thoughts, emotions, and actions to increase self-awareness. I have a clear and purposeful sense of self. Additionally, I’m more aware of how my own behaviour affects those around me.
Commitment and consistency –
I’m intentional and proactive about self-care. Self-care is a life-long project and requires consistency. Yes, some days can be more difficult than others, but staying committed has helped me to maintain my physical and emotional wellbeing.
And last but not least…
SISU practice –
Regular SISU practice has helped me to become mentally and emotionally stronger. I have a higher tolerance level for stress and uncertainty. I cope well in high pressure situations and believe in my ability to effectively deal with problems. When faced with a challenge, I say to myself “you have sisu Eila”.
I love being an empath and wouldn’t have it any other way. For me, it’s a lifestyle. I’m sensitive and intuitive yet resilient and grounded.
To all the fellow empaths out there, accept who you are. Perhaps some of my strategies will inspire you to start embracing your gift.
You too can thrive, both personally and professionally!
Eila Mikkonen
Counsellor, Coach & Mental Fitness Facilitator