It’s hard to let go and move on ...
♦ from relationships
♦ from mistakes
♦ from people who hurt us deeply
♦ from regrets
♦ from unhealthy habits and behaviours
♦ from painful memories
♦ from insecurities
Holding on to something that no longer serves us is not helpful. It only causes pain and more of the same. And in the long run, holding onto past hurts is not good for our health and wellbeing. We start to experience constant negative emotions such as fear, sadness and anger. We start to feel bitter, resentful and frustrated with the world.
Sometimes, we really have to let go to move forward.
But letting go of someone, or something, is not easy…. we all have struggled with it. Letting go does not mean forgetting what happened. Letting go is the intentional act of releasing something.
How do you let go and move on in life?
Here are some things to consider:
- You have a choice – Letting go is a choice you CAN make to release the past. You need to have the willingness to do so.
- You have to become aware of what you are doing – We all have negative and upsetting experiences somewhere in our past. Are you holding onto mistakes you have made, re-living them over and over? Are you holding onto old ways, self-absorbed people or bad habits?
- Give yourself time and space to process your emotions – Often we are too close to a person or a situation and need to step away to get more clarity.
- Express your emotions in a healthy way – Move your body, exercise, engage in artistic activity, write a reflective journal or talk to a trusted friend. However, sometimes friends are unable to provide unbiased support so talking to a trained therapist might be a better option.
- Stop blaming – It can be easy to fall into the “victim” mindset and blame others. Or you want the person, place or situation to change. But wanting to change others, you are setting yourself up for failure. You are the only one who can change. So, try to take responsibility for the situation or your actions. Ask yourself, “Could I have handled it differently?”
- Avoid overthinking or ruminating – Distract yourself. Instead of replaying past mistakes or reliving what happened over and over in your head, direct your attention elsewhere. Try something new to distract yourself. Try to break out of your routine in some way. Do something that brings you joy!
- Be gentle with yourself – Letting go is hard. It’s a process and takes time. With practice, you will eventually be able to move on to a more fulfilling life. Take small steps each day. Show yourself some kindness and compassion.
It can be difficult to let things go.
But be brave enough to let go of what no longer serves you!!!
Eila Mikkonen
Counsellor, Coach & Mental Fitness Facilitator