Pause for a moment and look at all areas of your life – physical, emotional, social, mental and spiritual. These different areas, or life domains, are important for your wellbeing. Do you have a healthy balance across ALL domains? Can you truly say that you live a balanced life? Or do you feel out of balance in any of these areas? Perhaps your attention is going to work, and you are neglecting your health or relationships. Or you have no time for self-care as you focus on looking after others.
As a counsellor, I often see people who struggle to create balance in their lives. Demanding job, family responsibilities, sick child, looking after elderly parents… the whole notion of balance is such an elusive concept for many.
But creating and maintaining balance in our everyday lives is becoming more and more important. Why? When we are balanced, we have time for the things we HAVE to do, as well as the things we WANT to do. We feel grounded, clear-headed and in control. Of course, this is much easier said than done. There is no single approach that's right for everyone. Additionally, balance means different things to different people.
Balance in life isn’t about perfection. Instead, balance requires us to be flexible. It's often said that change is the only constant in life. We all change, our lives change, unexpected events show up, everything is always in constant motion… so it’s okay to feel out of balance from time to time. But when we embrace a balanced mindset, we are more likely to bounce back much quicker and continue on with our lives. It’s much easier to keep things in perspective and remain grounded.
How do I create balance in my own life? It all starts with the right mindset. My positive and strong mindset provides me with a sense of control in just about any situation. I simplify every aspect of my life. I incorporate balance into my daily routine. I keep working on my skills – consistently. Yes, it takes time, self-discipline and commitment but real balance brings happiness and fulfilment. It doesn't mean I won't go to “extremes”, when needed. I do take on challenges, try new things and take risks. Balance is finding the middle ground between pushing myself and holding myself back.
How do you know YOUR life is out of balance? Consider the following:
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You worry a lot and you’re often anxious or overwhelmed
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You feel physically and mentally exhausted
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You have headaches or other physical and emotional signs of stress
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You wake up in the middle of the night thinking about what needs to get done
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Your work takes priority over everything else, and you don’t have much time for rest, family or hobbies
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You walk fast, eat fast, talk fast, drive fast, flick through emails fast… and you multitask, rushing through work projects
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You are constantly fidgeting with your phone or scanning the latest social posts
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You can’t remember the last time you did something enjoyable
What can you do to bring moderation and balance into your life?
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Take a step back and look at the big picture. Acknowledging that your life is out of balance is the first step!
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Learn how to SLOW DOWN a bit. Walk slower. Talk slower. Or schedule five minutes a day to sit still and do absolutely nothing. The very act of slowing down can reduce your stress levels
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Make time for yourself every day. Learn how to be alone. Being alone isn't the same thing as being lonely
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Find your sense of humour. There is a lot of joy in each day, but you need to stop and recognize it
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Unplug from the internet and social media. Put your devices away, even for an hour each day
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Spend quality time with family and friends. Make an effort to really connect and pay attention to those you care about, it’s worth it
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Set boundaries and learn how to say “NO”. Balance sometimes means saying no to others and their demands. It’s okay to say NO to others and YES to yourself
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Start small. Make small adjustments at a time, don’t try and change everything all at once
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Ask for help. There are times when it's impossible to do everything on your own. It’s okay to ask for support
Whatever your age, whatever your stage in life, it’s never too late to start working on yourself.
It’s never too late to start living a more balanced life – so start today!!!
Eila Mikkonen
Counsellor, Coach & Mental Fitness Facilitator