Introvert or extravert – what’s the difference?
It’s about how we direct and process energy.
Introverts get their energy from within and from being alone. They process information internally, often quietly without words. They think things through before giving an opinion.
Extraverts (often spelled extroverts) are energised by the outer world and from being around people. They often process information by talking out loud, to themselves and others. They try and figure out an answer while speaking.
Many studies also suggest that the brain activity of introverts and extraverts is different. They are “wired” differently.
No one is completely one way or another. And one trait isn’t better, or worse, than the other. We all have both qualities and some of us are just more introverted than extraverted. Introversion-extraversion can also be situational where we balance the traits of introverts and extraverts simultaneously.
Are you closer to the extravert side? Or the introvert side? You might be someone who falls somewhere in between and often switches to extraversion or introversion depending on the situation or people around them. These adaptable types are described as ambiverts.
I encourage you to explore where you fall on the introvert-extravert spectrum.
Knowing your natural style will help you to communicate better with others and navigate the world around you. You understand yourself better and make choices that suit your personality. It all starts with self-awareness. If you are an introvert-extravert couple, it is important to communicate your preferences. Don’t try and change the other person. Appreciate and respect your differences and find healthy compromises. It takes effort from both partners.
As a parent of an introvert child – especially if you are not an introvert yourself – you need to make an extra effort to understand how to support your introverted child. Otherwise, parenting can become a struggle. Take the time to know your child’s natural preferences and nurture their unique strengths and talents.
As introverts and extraverts recharge their batteries differently, knowing your natural style will help you to find self-care practices that suit your personality.
I am predominantly introvert but have some ambivert tendencies. I enjoy being with others and have no problems presenting to people and facilitating group activities. This is where my extravert side comes out. I find it quite easy to adjust my approach to suit the situation or people. However, afterwards being alone is a must!
I pick up a lot that goes on around me.
I notice details that others might miss such as a subtle change in a person’s demeanour when I’m talking to them. How do they make me feel? I pay attention to, not just the people, but the environment as well. When I worked in prisons, there was always something going on – people coming and going, noise, alarms, harsh lights and buzzing sounds. Every now and then, it was important for me to retreat to a calm, quieter place where I could recharge, even briefly.
As an introvert – and a counsellor – I have learned to prioritise my own self-care practices. I need plenty of alone-time to restore my energy.
So, my fellow introverts, here are some self-care ideas to consider:
- Don’t pressure yourself to be like other people. Don’t try and “match” extraverts and their ways of interacting with the world.
- Don’t feel guilty. It’s not selfish to prioritise yourself. It’s okay to say NO to events that you know will be emotionally too draining and overwhelming.
- Set healthy boundaries with others. You need to protect your energy. Make sure you get enough “me” time to pause and recharge.
- How is your work environment? If you work in a busy, open-plan office and regularly attend large meetings, this can drain and overstimulate you. You are less productive. Incorporate small breaks into your working day, especially after draining situations. Find a quiet corner to recharge and refresh.
- If you really struggle in an office job, look for a job that aligns with your personality. Introverts tend to work better alone and autonomously. When you work independently, free from distractions, you think clearly and come up with good ideas without the pressure of group work.
- Sometimes it can be difficult to express yourself verbally. Find different ways to express your ideas. Through music, art or writing. Express yourself online, write articles or blog posts. Writing is an excellent way to create content ALONE, brainstorm ideas without interruptions... and express yourself thoughtfully.
- Being an introvert is not something you need to “overcome”. It’s who you are. And remember, you are not the only one. There are lots of introverts out there who are just like you. Connect with other introverts and find your “tribe”, a small, select group of people you identify with.
I love being an introvert... and wouldn't want it any other way!
Do you think you might be an introvert?
Eila Mikkonen
Counsellor, Coach & Mental Fitness Facilitator